Obvious Statement of the Day: Dana White Thinks Tito Ortiz is “One of the Dumbest Motherfuckers You Will Ever Meet”

It looks like there’s once again trouble a’ brewing between UFC president Dana White and UFC HOFer/lughead Tito Ortiz. If you recall, the beef between these two got to such a boiling point back in 2007 that Spike TV aired a special hyping up a boxing match between the two (one which never came to fruition, of course). And while it seemed that White and Ortiz had repaired their relationship for long enough to have Tito get beat into retirement, Ortiz’s recent signing with Bellator has reopened the trash-talking floodgates.

Things really kicked off when Ortiz compared DW to a slave master during a recent interview with Sportscenter:

I thought slavery was over a long time ago. It’s just one of those things where you can’t trust a word the man says. And when you can’t do that, how can you work for him? When you work for a person and they’re badmouthing you no matter what, how can you work for them? When you apologize for the things that did happen and he still goes behind your back and says things about you, for no reason at all. Dana’s thing now is bullying and he is one of the biggest bullies in the business. He’s a big bully. One of these days, karma, it always come back around. 

It’s hard to argue with Tito’s comparison when looking at the facts. As we all know, slaves regularly received compensation packages totalling upwards of $250,000 for their work in the fields, as well as top notch medical care whenever they came down with a bad case of “cracked skull.” In addition, it is a well known fact that all slaves drove Rolls Royces to and from their million dollar summer homes.

Being that White is slightly more aware of what gets said about him in the media than the average President of a billion dollar corporation, he responded with the vitriol of a “Ben Affleck is the new Batman” Reddit thread at the Fight Night 27 media scrum on Wednesday.

(Exchange starts a 17:42)

Now I’m a fucking slave master, or whatever Tito called me. That fucking buffoon. How about this fucking moron coming out and saying he was a slave. Do you even know…I shouldn’t even ask that question if he knows what being a slave means, because he’s one of the dumbest motherfuckers you will ever meet. Seriously. He’s a slave to stupidity is what he is. I could go to the fucking zoo, go over the fucking monkey cage and have a more intelligent interaction. 

Expect Ortiz to check the box for “crushed soul” on his next post-fight medical questionnaire. Don’t worry, he’s undergoing surgery next Spring to fix it.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, White then really went for the throat, addressing the obvious problems fans have had with the Ortiz/Rampage matchup from the moment it was announced, as well as the duo’s need to continue bashing their old promotion via their new one:

And then you got fucking Bozo and the other Bozo over there going “This is the greatest place in the world to work and we’re so happy!” Then what the fuck are you talking about me for? If you love where you’re at…why are you talking about me? It makes no sense. You’ve moved onto a better place. It’s like going to Heaven and bitching about Earth. 

What are they gonna go on Sportscenter and talk about? The fight?! The Sportscenter guy didn’t even know what to say: “So, you’ve both lost 10 of your fucking last 10 fights, neither of you have a win but you’re on Sportscenter for some reason.”

-J. Jones