Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Don’t Use Eye Pokes Because the Guy Will Kill Your Family

Last time on CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week, we covered absurd and downright dangerous (for you, not the other guy) knife defense techniques.

This week, we’re highlighting an amazing character by the name of “Master Wong“—a Jeet Kune Do, Wing Chun, and Tai Chi expert.

To be fair, the techniques in the video aren’t the worst we’ve seen; they’re the standard sort of compliant, “street” self-defense training that’s peddled in poor martial arts schools across the country. What makes Master Wong’s stylings so notable are his incomprehensible accent (Tito Ortiz-level of poor English) and his insane assertions, such as “you can’t knee fucking shit” and his claims about how poking a man in the eye means he’ll kill your family.

This video is worth a watch, trust us. It’s bad martial arts combined with ridiculous engrish—a win-win! He’s got loads of others too. They’re not quite as good as the one above, but are still fun.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com