Jon Jones May Have Literally Broken Brandon Vera’s Face

(The upside is, now Vera’s sure to get that role as Sloth in the “Goonies” remake. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

That sickening, dead meat smacking sound you heard when Jon Jones landed his fight-ending elbow strike on Brandon Vera last night? That was the sound of Vera’s face being rearranged. The word is that Vera suffered three broken bones in his face last night, and the injuries are severe enough that he was reportedly prevented from boarding a plane to go home.

That might not have been a big deal if the fight had been in Las Vegas. He could always pass the time by buying himself a cold one and walking down to see the pirate battle outside of Treasure Island, or else wander around the M&M’s store with all the senile old ladies from Wisconsin. Not a bad way to waste time while you wait for your face to regain its structural integrity, really.

But damn, you’re telling me Vera is stuck in Broomfield, Colorado? Not only did he lose the fight and get his face smashed, but he also has to sit around his hotel room watching an endless stream of shows about Nazis on the History Channel, while sending his cornermen down the hall for ice every ten minutes? That, my friends, is a special little slice of hell.